Hardware Store

Lyrics and Information

 

Hardware Store is the second song on the Poodle Hat album. It is an original song by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

 Here are the lyrics to Hardware Store:

Nothin' ever, ever happens in this town
Feelin' low down, down not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air, air
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy, happy now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, no I can't wait
When are they gonna open up the door?
I'm goin' yes I'm  goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the  hardware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball-peen hammer free

I can't wait, no I I can't wait
When are they gonna open up the door?
I'm goin' yes I'm goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the hard ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' yes I'm goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the hardware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, no I  can't wait
When are they gonna open up the door?
I'm goin' yes I'm goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the hardware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' yes I'm goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the hardware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' yes I'm going, I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the hardware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin', I'm goin' to the oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store